FEELING GREAT IN THE MIDST OF DOWNFALL

Haaaaa.... i really dont know what to say, but i feel so great !!! to the extend that i can just smiling this whole nite.. actually, i just finish the 2nd episode of It's Okay, That's Love..... wowww!!! that drama is so so so greatttt.... no word can actually describe it... it's always making me hyper up up up!!!!... i just wish i coould touch a man that i really love n do everything that i want... just really wish i had a man in my life other than my father~~~~..

but u know, 'layan' my passion towards drama really meets no end... it's never ending up to the point i really stuck to it like glue n of course my work, (u know), PROCRASTINATION!!!!... i knew it n i just ignore it.. dont have a feeling to do it like what i did now!!!.. writing this post instead of studying.. (THIS IS MY DOWNFALL)!!!!..

actually, there's so may thing happpened to me this week.. for example, my schedule for nutrition really not so packed like other course, dont have many coursework + asssignment! but i still need to study for my own understanding... i just really hope that for my whole degree life, i wont say that regret taking this degree as one of my pathway for my career... i still do have desire to become nutritionist in my own way.. now, i just found out myself that study is not burdening at alll as long as know have ur curiousity b4 n after dioung the research ( like me now~!).. i just quite understand the power of study n also the power of understanding something..understanding???? it can be anything as long as u curious about.. curiousity??? u might think about it or else, it'll come to you... that's what i think...

Mosque.. ohhh... Mosque

Dear Anati,

Alhamdulillah !! u finally invite urself to go to Mosque for first time in Nottingham, or popularly called IC (islamic centre)... Congrats, well ~,, hehe.. Sincerely, i'm totally happy with myself rite now... u're doin awesome job anati...

Truthfully, it has been in my mind  recently that i eagerly want to go to mosque by myself which means I GO THERE, NOT BCOZ OF ANY RELIGIOUS EVENT OR SOMETHIN ELSE`~.. i still remember, when i'm still in mensturation, i always thinking to go praying in that mosque coz i oftenly la jugak hear the imam do the adzan n it was so nice n very good for my ear actually~ yer la, hearing that is zillions better when it comes to comparison btw kpop(BIGBANG) N ADZAN...i do admit it..

Ala... anati~ when u're not in mens pun u often ggak hear adzan but still, always finding ways to not go there.. well, that's me before..

Well, i believe that God had called me to start do reflections n transformations of myself to a greater good which to jannah.. He really want to see me, perhaps.. n i finally call Him back by visiting His House... ALHAMDULILLAH, ALLAHUAKBAR N LAILAHAILLALLAH~!!!

Thanx so much God for giving me 'that calling'.. i'm deeply appreciate that..Later on, i'll try myself to let my mind, body n soul to pray in mosque.. seriously, PRAYING IN MOSQUE IS MUCH MORE BETTER + KHUSYUK than any place.. that's my opinion~!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...

I still remember when i start entering the ladies' part in the mosque, mostly international ( arabians) girls in there but still, not to forget that there's also a few of malaysian girls, specifically senior... but that's out o my business~!!!
So, with willingly heart, i walk into the ladies' prayer part n seriously, it was very calm n i kinda feel peace there.. Alhamdulillah again Anati ~ then, as that time the imam already perform the adzan, so most of the girls in there straight away do the 'solat sunat before solat isyak' n i dont know what on earth with my mind n body!~~ i also straight away conform to them - straight away move in front , put my bag n wear the 'baju sembahyang' n 'SAHAJA AKU SOLAT SUNAT SEBELUM ISYAK KERANA ALLAH TAALA'.. I perform solat sunat ba'diah kot... that solat~ it has been a long time that i stop perform that solat... see, the power of Allah~!!

Then, I sit n waiting for the imam command to solat ( while do the dzikir), that dzikir also, usually, i just do SUBNALLAH 5x, ALHAMDULILLAH 5x, ALLAH AKBAR 5x, n sometimes LAILAHAILLALLAH 5x .. But, at that time,i perform all that dzikir 33x each of it... Subhanallah~!! HOW STRONG THE SPIRIT OCCURED IN THE MOSQUE..n guess what, i dont know what's wrong with me but i suddenly use my bracelet as a tasbih.. awwweee... it's so worthy,2+1 kot~!!!

After that, the imam do the iqamah n we all pray.. when it comes to 1st n 2nd rakaat, i was really mesmerised by the imam's voice of reciting surahs (which i dont know~)... seriously, that was very heart tearing as i also was about to cry but still can handle it.. OMG ~!!! i dont know how should i tell u that i am really.... reallly... wanna thank u for all the peace that u gave me... no word can descride that than ALLAHU AKBAR~!!! oh ALLAH, U ARE THE ALMIGHTY N GREAT~!!!

But, when it comes to 3rd n 4th rakaat, since only Al-fatihah is recited (in silent), i recited it also la... but (i dont know, what's strong with that imam, he recited it so fast that it's so hard for to follow him, so, terpaksa la recited it in fast way, at that time, i just hope that God still accept my prayer at that time... finally, i finish my solat isyak quite late than others bcoz of that reason...

after pray, as usual, do some dzikir n the imam starts to give tazkirah...

so, what i learned during his tazkirah are 1st, it's about envy... i suddenlyknow that envy is the 1st sin that ever happenend in this dunia...this envy has to do with satan, the moment when they envyof Adam s.a as Allah wants them to sujud to Adam s.a but they dont want as they think that they wore powerful than Adam s.a, who's made up of clay while they're made of fire... so, generally envy is kind of like 'U DONT THAT THING N U ALSO DONT WANT THEM (OTHER PEOPLE) TO HAVE THAT~!' Basically, it is like that. the 2nd is about doa after waking up, the meaning of that doa is so beautiful n shocked me at 1st (straight away smiling for no reasons after hearing the meaning of that doa recited by the imam)... that doa is kind of like God has gave us life again after He made us dead (i mean, sleeping~!)... so, yup~!! that's the 2 things that can properly hear, other~!! i hear but it's so hard u know to understand arabian when they talking english but yea, at least i know some benefits la from that tazkirah. it's better than nothing rite, Anati~!!

to me, yesterday!!! i had such n awesome moment where i finally find peace where i hardly get that.. thanx God for giving me this... Later on, n 2morrows~ i hope i still continue to the paradigm in my life to the greater good.. though, i believe it's gonna be so hard..

To me + other Muslims,

OH GOD, i do really hope that u always show + invite us to the right path... if we fail to see that path, plez help us n lead us... we r nothin without u.. everythin come from.. so, plez gives us hidayah to do good things in our lives n not to forget, plez gives hidayah also for us to always go to mosque (Ur house) n perform solat jemaah together... to those, who r still not muslims, plez give them hidayah too n let them see the beauty of ISLAM, Allah!!!.. Amin~

@.C.n.E

Dear Anati,

first time ever in my life... it didnt happen before....

i look at the mirror, the mirror look at me~!!
oh my God~!!! how am i suppose to do with my life...
everthing started happen when i first enter Nottingham university... WHAT`!!! it's my uni life kot...

oh acne.. or pimple.. oh WHATEVER ~!! why did u come to my me n keep my face as ur home... oh God... plez... this creature, i never invite this fearless creature come to my party (my face).. T_T
bcoz it happen right after i stay in Nottingham.. nah!! Nottingham!!! u're the blame..  this is all happen BCOZ OF U, BCOZ OF UR WEATHER, ENVIRONMENT N blah blah blah...

But seriously, i try everythin single thing to repair my skin again...again....again n again...u know why??? b4 this, i do admit that i have such a normal skin, no acne, no pimples n it was clean clear.. everythin was fine.. back then~~~~

i believe there are lots of skin care that i've been used, HADA LABO, TANAKA, what else.. argh~!!! u name it, anati !! u name it ~!! but everythin was futile...i even try the traditional one kot...
still no change ..

i dont know when  when that creature gonna runaway from me.. does that creature really do love me.???

Solution:

after God gives this bala to me, i believe i need to admit that i must have done somethin wrong back then, perhaps i once perli someone about his or her skin.. i cant remember but i know myself before.. how bad i am, how rebellious n fearless i am.. i think God just want me reflect myself again n again.. perhaps, i'm too happy with life n forgetting HIS POWER bit by bit...

right now, i'm just using extra virgin olive oil n SHAKLEE ESP introduced by my concerned friend.. still, no change (adelah, skit~!).. i do admit that rite now, my skin is quite okay though still got acne scars n acne itself... i pray to God so that He will halau all the acne n pimples from my face..

Pray for me + acne sufferer,

Oh God, with all ur Power, plez get away any acne, pimples n scars from our face... i know u made that acnes n put them on our face, i know there must reasons for ur action. rite now, i pray to u, plez let them go away from us... we dont want that, n i know u know that.. Amin...

Congrats to Me~!!!

 Dear Anati,

Yeeehaaa... congrats to me !! finally u finally made ur own blog... yea! it seems like i can share with the world about what i feel, cherish n hate... this blog, i'm goinna make it like my mindary
(mind+diary).... coz i believe sharing somethin doesn't necessasry need to be shared by people.. i mean, homosapien but it can also be shared by urselves which is me~!!.. sometimes, i dont even call my self human.. but yea, i admit i'm born as human.. but i tend to not do or act like human coz i'm a slave n actually i was born to be slave.. why??? coz I'M A SLAVE OF ALMIGHTY GOD, ALLAH SWT !!. n that's i should be proud of.. i'm started giving up being human coz human nowadays always hurt me with their act of action.. oh God, what am i suppose to do with all human in this world??? but actually, i do love human... coz my parents n all my relatives are human.. oh GOD!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH MY SELF...???? okay, Deal ~!! i'm a human which means i'm also  a slave of GOD~!!..

i think, that's all for now.. after dizzing myself btw human n slave.. huhuhu...lastly,

my pray for myself+human,

oh GOD, plez guide me n all people in this world to the right path which is to you... plez accompany us wherever we go n plez dont ever leave me.. we need u God.. though we sometimes forget u, WAKE US UP n TELL US THAT U EXIST!!! so that we can count on u n let every single things to u to decide for us..
WE PLAN N U DECIDE..wow..aweeee~!! what a miraculous partner (relationship btw GOD N his slaves)..

WE PLAN, U DECIDE...